My house is full of boxes. I’m slowly packing everything up in readyness for hopefully moving on Saturday (if for some reason my application doesn’t go through I have no idea what to do). It’s quite hard boxing your life away, while also still retaining something that lets you have clothes, technology and something to do in the evenings. Also shows how little I actually use my CDs.

Went into the estate agents in Wakefield on Friday to hand in bits of paper and the £194 fee. Well, I tried to get into Wakefield. The first hint that something was Wrong was when I got stuck in a traffic jam outside Horbury. A traffic jam that continued all the way to Wakey town centre. I slowly shuffled down the road, wishing I’d had a pee at the last petrol station I passed, watching my GPS tell me there was absolutely no way to escape the traffic, and that I had to just sit it out. Time passed, my bladder became fuller, the cars shuffled down the road.

Eventually I came to the cause of the jam, a mere hour later and really really needing to pee. The drains had burst and the centre of Wakefield was now in the domain of ducks, large lorries and idiots who think their cars are aquatic – and of course then breakdown recovery trucks and the police. Sorry people, your car doesn’t work under water so don’t even try.

Joyfully the nice policeman (wonder if he needed a piss as badly as I did?) directed me back up the road I had just come down all the way back to bloody Horbury almost. My GPS then told me to randomly turn left and go down another (equally jammed) road. Fortunately this one went past a supermarket and I had the most satisfying and wonderful emptying of my bladder ever (well, possibly since the time I spent three hours sat on a boat with a bunch of kids and a broken engine waiting for a lift… that one might have been more satisfying).

To continue the theme of being stuck in traffic I was off to meet Amy in Scunthorpe later that evening. After seeing the traffic on the motorway I thought “sod that, I’ll go along the back roads”. Hahaha Bad Move! Barnsley was a total carpark, and even the random detours I invented (my GPS is the best thing ever!) didn’t help. Took me three hours to do a one hour journey Again I needed to pee quite badly, think I’ll get my seat converted into a toilet!

The M18 was fun, lots and lots of rain to the point of me wondering how soon it’d be before my car went skidding sideways off the motorway. The giant ruts in the road made by the lorries don’t help much. The thunder and lightning was fun to watch, but the sheet rain that chopped my visibility to nothing wasn’t.

OK estate agents, ring me now! I need to phone about 20 different companies and tell them I’m moving house and sort out a van. The new place is nice, I’ll put up pictures when I get it.