I’ve finally made it home after spending the past six months in an aeroplane (or so it felt, really, I can’t quite put the memories together in a sensible way any more). My experiments into sleep deprivation ended after 30 hours when I fell asleep on my bed while trying to read a book.

After arriving in Frankfurt we walked most of the length of the airport, escaping many long lines of people actually trying to get into Germany and ended up in a line of our own. Once again I was security scanned and my stuff x-rayed just to make sure I’d not slipped anything naughty into my hand luggage between getting scanned in the US and sitting on a sealed plane for seven hours.

Then we went to the gate where I was once again security scanned to, once again make sure I’d not somehow constructed illegal fireworks from the contents of the duty free shops. This laptop has been X-rayed so many times I probably shouldn’t sit with it on my lap

The flight to Birmingham was quite easy with free food and an irritating child sat behind me. Curiously to enter the UK they didn’t want to security scan me again, and merely stared at me, stared at my passport, stared at me again, scanned my passport and let me back in.

The best bit was that despite being a day late, the carpark didn’t charge me any extra, so we got into the car and drove back to Rob (my cousin)’s house just outside Derby. After a break I then set off to get back home.

I arrived home (after stopping at a services due to me going cross-eyed and filling up on coke and sugar, and then making an emergency pit-stop at the local Sainsbury’s for a pee) and found everything as I left it, with the added bonus of all my plants still alive and no bad smells.

Got to use next week to get sorted for work the week after, but since tomorrow is a Bank Holiday, it can wait.