This house has rather thin walls and is constructed in such a way that not only do I have people living either side, but there is someone behind us and above. It’s a back-to-back terrace built on a steep hill, so the front half get a level above us to make up for the slope.

To explain just how thin the walls and floor are, I can hear them having a pee. No, I can hear them talking to each other.

Currently I can hear them playing loud shite dance music and occasionally having random arguments with themselves. The topic of these arguments are more interesting than TV. You couldn’t write this stuff, it’s amazing We’ve found the best “reception” is in the bathroom, there’s not even a need to press an ear to the wall. I can hear my neighbours more clearly than I can get Freeview.

Getting a tad pissed off with the constant thudding me and my sister went round to ask them to turn it down. Obviously they knew we were coming round about that since after first politely knocking, knocking with more persistence and finally hammering on the door one answered. She was completely bladdered and just capable of standing up.

No, it didn’t go quieter. It did cause an argument between them after though. I could hear it over their music. The bloke evidently has more social awareness than the woman he’s living with as he keeps yelling at her to turn her noise down. Seems to come in waves as one of them wins the argument each time.

Yesterday there was an argument over five quid which seemed really important